Monthly Archives: May 2014

the Breakup +1 year


It’s been over a year now.  Holidays, days off and all the days of doing fun things as a couple are over.  

We still seem to do things…but it’s more like friends.  Which is still good…or at least it was until about 2 months ago.  He called to let me know a friend of his from the online game we used to play was in town and would be coming over.  Of course friend of his turned out to be actually new girlfriend.

Wendy is married to an older man and they have 6 kids.  yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah.  whatever.  She talked like a crazy person and all I could think of was, “wow, it’s true!  they say every man looks for his mom in a partner and he found her!”  I mean seriously, I’m not a big catch but I don’t cheat ….unlike these 2.  Perhaps they are made for each other!  

Things really  hadn’t changed until she entered his life.  And maybe it’s a good thing.  He took OUR car and disappeared for a day to go visit her in Oklahoma.  I wasn’t mad he went…i was mad he didn’t tell me he was taking the car,  That left me stranded.  And that’s when I decided he had to go.  I told him he had to move out.  He argued that I couldn’t kick him out of MY house.  He told me I couldn’t change the locks.  He told me bullshit!

I saw a lawyer and made a plan.  He can pay me to stay in the house, or he can leave.  He can sign a note that he promises to pay me the $14.500 he owes me for the credit cards and the car.  

Yes the car.  We owed $5000 on it and he decided that I had to get his name off of it.  Meanwhile, he went out and bought a brand new car.  He opened up a bank account somewhere else.  He decided that he owed me nothing.

So I ended up getting a newer (used) car and had to roll the OUR car’s payoff into my loan.  Thank God for letting me be able to get a vehicle with almost identical payments so it doesn’t kill my budget.

 I love him, but he is killing me.  So he has to go.  I love having him around.  I love him for taking care of my electronics.  But hi am tired of the bullshit.  I’m tired of the taking me for granted and thinking he owes me nothing.

He says he’ll pay me once he gets settled.  He is paying me weekly to stay here.  But nothing on the debt.  

And I am starting to take my life back.  I am slowly starting to go places alone again.  I’m rethinking my house and what I like and don’t like.  I am trying to enjoy my life again.

I’m working and reworking a budget I can live by and pay off things.  I’m trying to use cash more and not use credit cards at all.  

It saddens me that Bill joins the list of those that I used to love.  And to think all I wanted was for him to marry me.  So I think it worked out for the best.  I need someone who can commit and be loyal to our relationship–and he’s not able to do either.  I am free.  Free to live my life.  

And by the grace of God and the strength He gives me…I know I’ll make it.  I’ll have my tears and fears, but they will turn to joy and confidence.