Author Archives: kkis50

About kkis50

just turned 50....and enjoying it!

The Explosion….


it took me a while to deal with Bill dumping me like yesterday’s trash because I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life….and he wasn’t ready.

Life went on and all was well for quite a while, until he met a new girlfriend in Oklahoma and used my credit to go see her.

And then over the last few weeks I found out that he was playing with a new girl here in town. Eh, his life. I won’t touch him again after all of the trash he’s sleeping with but at least he was still paying me to stay here.

Last week he had a big blow up because he decided he didn’t owe the money on the car loan we had taken out together. he also decided that he needed to tell me what to do with the money he was giving me to stay in the house.

so i re-iterated what i had told him 2 months ago, you can pay and stay or you can leave.

Friday came and he told me he was not paying me. he then began to yell and scream and demand what he considered his. he decided that he would just start taking things apart while yelling and screaming.

it was like he was daring me and wanting me to call the police to have him removed. and i did. they told him he had to leave.

now i have all his crap to get rid of or put aside for him to pick up with the police. i am heartbroken. i am hurting. and i am alone.

maybe now i can start healing. i barely slept last night. i’m writing this out of a need for catharsis. i just need….___________…..

talked to mom and she was reminding me of God’s love and direction. And i know i NEED him. i am hurting. he was my best friend. my confidant. and even now i want to call him.

the house is empty without him. and gunther (my baby boy—of the furry four-legged kind) misses his friend, katana….who was taken by her daddy. i just hope he feeds her and takes care of her. he hasn’t yet in almost 4 years, so i hope he does now. gun is lonely. i’m lonely.

just say a little prayer that i find my way. and that if i have to file bankruptcy…that i come out of it still standing


the Breakup +1 year


It’s been over a year now.  Holidays, days off and all the days of doing fun things as a couple are over.  

We still seem to do things…but it’s more like friends.  Which is still good…or at least it was until about 2 months ago.  He called to let me know a friend of his from the online game we used to play was in town and would be coming over.  Of course friend of his turned out to be actually new girlfriend.

Wendy is married to an older man and they have 6 kids.  yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah.  whatever.  She talked like a crazy person and all I could think of was, “wow, it’s true!  they say every man looks for his mom in a partner and he found her!”  I mean seriously, I’m not a big catch but I don’t cheat ….unlike these 2.  Perhaps they are made for each other!  

Things really  hadn’t changed until she entered his life.  And maybe it’s a good thing.  He took OUR car and disappeared for a day to go visit her in Oklahoma.  I wasn’t mad he went…i was mad he didn’t tell me he was taking the car,  That left me stranded.  And that’s when I decided he had to go.  I told him he had to move out.  He argued that I couldn’t kick him out of MY house.  He told me I couldn’t change the locks.  He told me bullshit!

I saw a lawyer and made a plan.  He can pay me to stay in the house, or he can leave.  He can sign a note that he promises to pay me the $14.500 he owes me for the credit cards and the car.  

Yes the car.  We owed $5000 on it and he decided that I had to get his name off of it.  Meanwhile, he went out and bought a brand new car.  He opened up a bank account somewhere else.  He decided that he owed me nothing.

So I ended up getting a newer (used) car and had to roll the OUR car’s payoff into my loan.  Thank God for letting me be able to get a vehicle with almost identical payments so it doesn’t kill my budget.

 I love him, but he is killing me.  So he has to go.  I love having him around.  I love him for taking care of my electronics.  But hi am tired of the bullshit.  I’m tired of the taking me for granted and thinking he owes me nothing.

He says he’ll pay me once he gets settled.  He is paying me weekly to stay here.  But nothing on the debt.  

And I am starting to take my life back.  I am slowly starting to go places alone again.  I’m rethinking my house and what I like and don’t like.  I am trying to enjoy my life again.

I’m working and reworking a budget I can live by and pay off things.  I’m trying to use cash more and not use credit cards at all.  

It saddens me that Bill joins the list of those that I used to love.  And to think all I wanted was for him to marry me.  So I think it worked out for the best.  I need someone who can commit and be loyal to our relationship–and he’s not able to do either.  I am free.  Free to live my life.  

And by the grace of God and the strength He gives me…I know I’ll make it.  I’ll have my tears and fears, but they will turn to joy and confidence.  

Dear Mr President…


Dear Mr  President,
The terrorists are on the run…why aren’t we following them to stop them??  And it seems that they are after us…still.  So you’re tired of fighting them?  So you are packing up your little marbles and going home??? If you weren’t so worried about campaigns and bs, maybe you could protect our butts.  Be a leader not a coward.  You were told they would follow if we left Iraq…and now we are on the run and closing embassies.


What a freaking coward!!! Stand up! Be a leader.  Stop worrying about your agenda and fight for our freedom. 

But wait.  Hold the front door.  These are your friends…the radical Islamists who want us dead. Your brothers. Your people. You want to use you unaffordable nothing to do with care health act which you are immune to in order to give us a death sentence while they use bombs, planes and other acts of terror.

Maybe you need to listen to your people.  Just because you are tired of fighting for what America should be doesn’t mean we are. Maybe you just need a refresher in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. 

Maybe you need to be a grunt on boot camp so you can understand the military you purport to lead.  Maybe you need to lose a meal a day while you fight a war like our soldiers abroad. 

Or maybe we need to find a need a new president……

And so—-


For the last 3 years I have enjoyed a wonderful man. We’ve laughed and cried, argued and loved, given and taken, gone through sickness and health. And then on May 10th, he informed me that I should move on, find someone who would marry me and be the man of my dreams because it wasn’t going to be him.

Needless to say, my heart is broken. I’m lost. I thought I had found “the One”….but I think back and realize there were so many signs. I remember sitting on the couch and telling him I knew I wasn’t his true love and never would be.
in my guest bedroom. We haven’t told anyone. We still do things together, like shopping and such. He is sudde
And so now I feel like the fool. I’m letting him continue to live here, nly doing things I asked him to do long ago.

And now I’m 52 and once again alone. Rebuilding. Trying to figure out who I am once again.

Or maybe I just need to be alone.

3 years….1 co-owned car since he rather destroyed mine. 5 bank accounts shared with him. Credit cards. All of these things need to be untangled. Settled. Divided.

I’m not happy…but of course he is. He has already moved on. And I’m sure he had started long before he told me. Was it really wrong of me to tell him he had 3 weeks (his 3 year anniversary of being here–with me) to decide marriage or leave?

As the song says—if you don’t know me by now, you will never ever know me…..

So now what? I have my master bedroom back. I have my dogs to keep me company—oh yes, and the one he adopted. Somehow that poor thing doesn’t get taken care of by him. But then again, I’m still taking him to work–mainly because I need him working to pay his share of the bills. And I wake him up. Maybe I’m just a mom type to him.

Oh well….that’s essentially the latest in my sorry life. I’m just better off alone I think. It was fun while it lasted.





Have you noticed, your Social Security check is now referred to as a “Federal Benefit Payment”?


I’ll be part of the one percent to forward this.

I am forwarding it because it touches a nerve in me, and I hope it will in you.


Please keep passing it on until everyone in our country has read it.


The government is now referring to our Social Security checks as a “Federal Benefit Payment.”

This isn’t a benefit – its earned income!

Not only did we all contribute to Social Security but our employers did too.


It totaled 15% of our income before taxes.  If you averaged $30K per year over your working life, that’s close to $180,000 invested in Social Security.


If you calculate the future value of your monthly investment in social security ($375/month, including both

your and your employer’s contributions) at a meager 1% interest rate compounded monthly, after 40 years of

working you’d have more than $1.3+ million dollars saved! This is your personal investment.


Upon retirement, if you took out only 3% per year, you’d receive $39,318 per year, or $3,277 per month.


That’s almost three times more than today’s average Social Security benefit of $1,230 per month, according to the Social Security Administration (Google it – it’s a fact).


And your retirement fund would last more than 33 years (until you’re 98 if you retire at age 65)! I can only imagine how much better most average-income people could live in retirement if our government had

just invested our money in low-risk interest-earning accounts.


Instead, the folks in Washington pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madoff ever did.

They took our money and used it elsewhere. They “forgot” that it was OUR money they were taking.

They didn’t have a referendum to ask us if we wanted to lend the money to them.


And they didn’t pay interest on the debt they assumed.

And recently, they’ve told us that the money won’t support us for very much longer.

But is it our fault they misused our investments?


And now, to add insult to injury, they’re calling it a “benefit,” as if we never worked to earn every penny of it.  Just because they “borrowed” the money, doesn’t mean that our investments were a charity! Let’s take a stand.


We have earned our right to Social Security and Medicare.

Demand that our legislators bring some sense into our government.


Find a way to keep Social Security and Medicare going, for the sake of that 92% of our population who need it.


Then call it what it is:

Our Earned Retirement Income.


99% of people won’t forward this.

Will you?



more reasons I hate Obamacare

At            age 76 when you most need it, you are not eligible for cancer
see          page 272
What         Nancy Pelosi didn’t want us to know until after the healthcare
bill was passed.  Remember she said, “We have to pass the Bill so
                that we can see what’s in it.”
Well, here it is.          
Obama Care Highlighted by Page Number 
THE           CARE BILL HB 3200


Judge       Kithil of  Marble Falls,  TX –  highlighted the most egregious pages of HB3200

Please     read this…….. especially the reference to pages 58 & 59

JUDGE     KITHIL wrote:

Page 50/section 152:  The bill will provide insurance to
all non-U.S. residents, even if they are here illegally.

Page 58 and 59: The government will have real-time access to an        
individual’s bank account and will have the authority to make
electronic fund transfers from those accounts.

Page 65/section 164:  The plan will be subsidized (by the
government) for all union members, union retirees and for
community organizations (such as the
of Community Organizations for Reform Now –

Page 203/line 14-15:  The tax imposed under this section
will not be treated as a tax.  (How could anybody in their
right mind come up with that?)

Page 241 and 253:  Doctors will all be paid the same
regardless of specialty, and the government will set all
doctors’ fees.

Page 272. section 1145: Cancer hospital will ration care
according to the patient’s age.

Page 317 and 321: The government will impose a prohibition on
hospital expansion; however, communities may petition for an

Page 425, line 4-12: The government mandates advance-care
planning consultations.  Those on Social Security will be
required to attend an “end-of-life planning” seminar every five
years. (Death counseling..)

Page 429,  line 13-25:  The government will specify
which doctors can write an end-of-life order.

        ENOUGH????  Judge Kithil then goes on to identify:

Finally, it is specifically stated that this bill will not apply to
members of Congress.  Members of Congress are already
exempt from the Social Security system, and have a well-funded
private plan that covers their retirement needs. If they were on
our Social Security plan, I believe they would find a very quick
‘fix’ to make the plan financially sound for their future.”

–    Honorable David Kithil of Marble FallsTexas

All of the above should give you the ammo you need to support your opposition to
Obamacare.  Please send this information on to all of your email contacts.

Catholics and Obama


I cannot understand how those who profess Catholicism can vote for a man who supports abortions, demands abortions, and forces other Catholics to supply abortions.

I cannot understand how those who profess to be pro-Life can support a man who wants to do anything other than preserve life.

I was born Catholic, raised Catholic, educated Catholic…and yet no longer profess Catholicism as my religion.  But I still agree with many of the things I learned—but then again those are the same things that fall under 10 simple Commandments.  Not suggestions.  Not good ideas.  Commands.  And one of those is “do not murder”.

The Bible declares frequently that God knew us before we were born; that God formed us in the womb; that put the muscle and sinew that formed our bones and body.  God does not make mistakes.  You might not agree with his decisions, but He does not make mistakes.

And so I was shocked and appalled that many of my extended family members are voting the Democrat, Barrack Hussein Obama, simply because of their Union’s decision to support him.

I am told I’m racist because I didn’t vote for him, won’t vote him and hope he goes home to Kenya.  I vote issues.  I am against his foreign policy.  I am against his domestic policy.  I am against his Executive orders.  I am against his idea of healthcare.  I am against his ideas of ‘redistribution of wealth’.  I am against him on almost any issue he speaks about.

Personally I think anyone who votes for him solely because he is black (….actually mulatto!) is racist.  Or maybe they are voting for the phones and welfare packages he wants to expand.

And no one seems to understand the freedoms they are going to lose after the election.  He already has instituted laws through Executive Orders to take over every aspect of American lives, from the Internet to electricity, phones, gas, water, housing, and anything else he wants control of.  Americans are being arrested for speaking against him now, imagine what it will be like in a 2nd term.

And I’d bet that I’ll be on a black list somewhere for using my freedom of speech here in this blog.
Do not assume that I am voting for Romney because I agree with all of his ideas.  It is more like he has the best chance of all other parties running for President to beat Obama.  And I think he has a better grasp of how to help America remain free and secure.

And it is because of family members like mine, who claim Catholicism and yet vote against very basic moral issues the Church supports, that made me decide to leave the Catholic Church.  I have a Christian faith, not a religion.  I have my own set of morals.  And I have a God that will judge me on the great Judgement Day.

Until then….I will not vote for Obama.  Nor Biden.


Here is a little video I found that gives 5 more reasons why I won’t……


Red Kettles and Bell Ringers


Red Kettles & Bell Ringers

As you open your pocketbooks for the next natural disaster, please keep these facts in mind: The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans’ salary for the year was $951,957 plus expenses.

The  United Way  President Brian Gallagher receives a $675,000 base salary alongwith numerous expense benefits.

UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,900,000 per year (158K) per month, plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE. Less than 5 cents (4.4 cents) per donated dollar goes to the cause.

The Salvation Army’s Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.

The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

· The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

· The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary.  Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

· The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary.  Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

· The Vietnam Veterans Association National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary.  Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

No further comment is necessary.

Please share this with everyone you can.



I think this says it better than anything else I could say.  I was bullied as a kid, but didn’t realize it until the last few years.  They didn’t call it that back then….it was just life as I knew it.

And yes, I’m overweight….and in part because food became my escape from loneliness and ostracism from my peers and classmates.

So during this month of Anti-Bullying …..remember, it’s easy to make fun of people, it takes true courage to ignore the negative and grow with the positive….